- If a book has been on your To Read list for over two years, and you still haven't read it, is it time to cross it off your list?
- Have you ever read a book that you wish you could unread? (The Ruins and Mockinjay come to mind for me.)
- And how do you pull out of a friend's book club without hurting that same friend's feelings?
I was just wondering.
Suggested answers:
ReplyDelete* If the title is just on a TBR list (not actually bought), then perhaps strike it off. If it's physically in your hands (or on Kindle etc.) then perhaps have a looksee and then decide?
* No books that I would like to unread due to content. One or two have a real waste of time though. (Is that what you meant?)
* Pulling out of friend's BC: can you blame work? "My job responsibilities have really changed since when we talked about this, and I'm not sure that I would be able to contribute that much to the group..."
Just ideas.
liz
You've never read a book that you just hated? Because I have. I like your book club suggestion...the only problem is that we used to work together and she knows my job too well for me to blame it on that. But thanks for thinking of me. :)
DeleteIf your BC host is a true friend, she will understand that your circumstances/interest level has changed and won't hold it against you. If, not, then eventually if you just quit going, maybe they will ax you from the list? IF you ware worried what she will think, well, just remember what that bastion of wisdom Dr. Phil says. "You wouldn't worry so much about what other people think of you if you realized how seldom they did."
ReplyDeleteGood advice. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm not worried what my friend will think about me...I just don't want HER to feel bad, you know?
DeleteI will sometimes strike a book from the TBR list if for some reason I've lost interest in it. Sometimes a review from someone I trust will change my mind about a book. I can't really think of a book I'd like to "unread" at the moment, but as ravingreader mentioned, there have plenty that were not worth the time. Oh, the book club thing is difficult, but can't imagine continuing if you don't enjoy it. I was in a book club once (and only once), and I wasn't interested in some of the books, and a lot of members didn't even read them. It just sort of fell apart on its own. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks! There's going to be a "summer break" on the book club front and I'm hoping to just not go back in the fall. It's tricky, because I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings. But this book club thing isn't for me.
DeleteI don't have a set expiration date for books on the TBR shelves. I'm reading one now that I think I've had more than 15 years - and really enjoying it! But I do look over the shelves fairly often, checking to see if the books still seem like something I'd want to read. I cull quite a few that way.
ReplyDeleteWith regard to the book club, I'm in something of the same situation. I was invited to join one with women from my church. I'd like to fade out of it, but I see them every Sunday! So I'll be checking back, for good ideas :)
Ooh, the church thing makes the book club problem even trickier...maybe you can get really busy with work for awhile? I'm hoping to ease out of mine during summer...I'll let you know how it goes.
Delete1) It depends on why you haven't read it yet. If you own it and haven't read it, yes, you might want to rethink. But if there are good reasons why you haven't read it, and you still really want to read it, then keep it on the list!
ReplyDelete2) Yes, I've read one or two like that. More often, it's a single scene that I wish I could unread, usually because I found it profoundly disturbing. (If it's bad enough, I won't finish the book.)
3) That's a tricky one. Can you get involved in something else that meets at the same time? ;-) Or maybe just sit down with your friend and explain why you don't want to continue, whether it's that you're overcommitted, that you aren't enjoying the books they are choosing, or that you love her, but are not comfortable with someone else in the book club. I think it really depends on the relationship you have with your friend. If I had a book club and a friend wanted out because she was too busy or whatever, I don't think I'd be offended.
It's usually the way the book ends that makes me hate it...after investing so much time reading it and then to have it end badly...I hate that. And the book club problem goes beyond just my one friend...I work with about four of the other people who do attend...so it's more than one person that I have to explain my book club absence to...sigh. Why is life so complicated? :) Thanks for the comments; every little bit of advice helps.
Delete1. I tend to hang on to books "just in case" I run out of something to read, though I doubt that will ever happen haha. The only time I do actually get rid of an older one is when I realize I've had enough of a certain genre or author and never really liked them in the first place. Two years sounds about right, but I've hung on to some for more than that and still enjoyed reading them when I finally did get around to it. Not an exact science, though, so just go with your gut.
ReplyDelete2. Unread because of the content or because it was a waste of time? I freely abandon books that are not working for me so I'm not left with regret at having finished something I didn't want to. Time usually takes care of an lingering book disapproval.
3. I don't do book clubs for that very reason. I tried a few times but realized they are just not for me. I like to read what I like to read and not what someone else has chosen for the group. Maybe just be honest with your friend and say you're into other kinds of books right now and have a huge pile to go through (or something like that) Good luck :)
I find it hard to get rid of books, too. But my space is small...so not all can stay. And I'm a lot better now at abandoning books...probably because of books like The Ruins. But sometimes I don't know I'm going to hate the ending until I get there. And I'm still working on the book club problem...luckily I have a prior commitment this month so I can skip it, but I'm "book leader" next month, so I guess I have to go at least once more. :)
DeleteI think it is fine to not read a book if it has been on your TBR list and you still haven't read it after two years. Times change, you change, and that book may not be a good fit anymore. I think I need to take a hard look at some of the books lingering on my shelves...
ReplyDeleteYes, I have read books I wish I could unread. Thankfully, some of them I didn't finish. There are movies I wish I hadn't sat through, too....life is just too short.
Hmmm...book club thing is tricky. Maybe a version of the truth?? "Thanks so much for including me. I appreciate our friendship. I am discovering I am just not a 'joiner' though, and I don't feel like I can contribute a lot to the experience, so I won't be back in the fall..." or something. Good luck! I am glad you are the kind of person who DOES think about other people's feelings.